There was so much darkness surrounding our life the moment we lost my Mom. The world as we knew it was crumbling around us. We lost a Nana, a Mom, a Wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a nurse, and so much more. This world lost an all around amazing human and we all lost a piece of ourselves. So there was most definitely darkness. It took me awhile to truly see the light because it seemed as though time had stopped that day. However, from the moment I got that phone call that something horrible had happened God placed people all around us in different ways.
I was at the library with my kids when the call came and a complete stranger who barely even spoke my language wrapped me in a hug, asked if I was okay to drive, and said she’d be praying. So thank you to her for showing me kindness. Thank you to the friend who helped me get plane tickets to where my Mom was when I couldn’t even think straight enough to remember how to look up a flight. Thank you to the stranger who gave me his seat so my daughter and I could sit with my husband and son. Thank you to my best friend who offered to hop in to ride with my sister at the drop of a hat. Thank you to my neighbors in Colorado who picked up our car from the airport and fed my sons fish. Thank you to my cousin who took care of the house and our needs while we were with my Mom. Thank you to our best friends in Texas who drove up without a second thought to be there for us, it would have been so much harder without you. Thank you to the friends/neighbor who mowed our yard while we didn’t even notice the grass had grown. Thank you to the family and friends who filled our pantry and fridge so we didn’t have to worry about what to feed the kids. Thank you to my talented friend for making the memorial video of my Mom’s beautiful life. Thank you to my friend who sent clothes for the kids to wear to the funeral so I didn’t have to worry about it. Thank you to my Moms coworkers who sent food many times and who made the most beautiful shadow box in honor of my Mom. Thank you to my childhood friend who dropped off coffee, breakfast, and a hug. Thank you for the friends that stopped by to check in on us, even when they didn’t know what to say. Thank you to my best friend for cleaning my house in Colorado from top to bottom while we were with my Mom. Thank you to my best friend for staying up with me all the late nights that followed where I would have been alone (there’s honestly to much to list that she’s done but those are the highlights). Thank you to my in-laws for helping us move our stuff back “home”. Thank you for all the random things that were done to help us. Thank you for the memorials sent in my Mom’s name and all of the flowers. Thank you for the calls and the texts checking in daily/weekly/monthly. Thank you for sharing the memories you have of my Mom with us.
So although this has been the darkest time in all of our lives, we truly appreciate all the light we have been given. If you ever need advice on how to help someone who just lost one of the most important people in their lives, just follow what’s listed above. We may not have known what we needed, but the outpouring support and love from our community has been a light in the darkness for all of us. I will never stop being blown away by the love everyone has shown us.
People grieving don’t need unwarranted advice, or to be told bull-crap like “it’s God’s plan”, they just need you to support them and show you care in any way you’re comfortable with. They’ll know you don’t know what to say, and nothing you say would help even if you did know what to say, but be there anyway. Whether it’s leaving a voicemail, sending a text, showing up, dropping something off-it is all appreciated more than you know. Grief is a very lonely and confusing. Knowing there are people grieving with you and are there to support you is a beautiful thing, so thank you.