What if one mistake defined our entire life. What if one fight defined our whole relationship. We are so quick to throw others into the fire when it could have easily been us. Yeah, maybe not exactly us because every situation is different—but what if our last mistake defined our entire life. What if our last fight defined our entire relationship…
Would it be an accurate depiction of our life? Would it be an accurate depiction of our relationship?
Would one mistake take away all the good we did in our life. Would the words thrown out in anger erase all of the love we shared. If we were to look back at the last thing we said that we regretted, and that was the final thing we were to ever say to each other, would it accurately define our relationship?
It is our goal to live life like we could die at any moment. Have all of our ducks in a row, our relationships in tact, be…ready.
Although, thats not really how life works. Yes, sometimes all those things happen but then things get hard. Life gets tricky and we make mistakes, we screw up. We say things we don’t mean out of anger, we make mistakes we wish we could take back. We are all human, so why is it so easy to crucify others for something that could have been us. Had life played out differently, we could’ve been in their shoes. Had we made different choices it could have been us, so why is it so hard to forgive.
We have felt that bitter taste of regret when we’ve said something hurtful to someone we love. We have felt that pain of regret in our stomach when we have made a mistake we wish we could take back. We usually get the chance to apologize, or try to do what we have to do to fix our mistakes…but not everyone is given that chance. Not everyone gets a chance to right their wrong.
It doesn’t change the fact that their mistake does not define their entire relationship or their entire life.
Can you imagine if God just wrote us off every time we screwed up? I can’t. I screw up daily and I am so grateful for God’s mercy and grace. So, yes we should try to live every day like it could be our last. We should make sure our loved ones know they’re loved, because it could easily be you that didn’t get the chance to say sorry. It could be you that didn’t get the chance to right your wrong….and I can’t even imagine what kind of pain that would be. I have made some pretty bad mistakes in my life and unfortunately I have said some hurtful things to people I love. I am so thankful I was blessed with the chance to at least try to right those wrongs, because not everyone is.
I’m the first to say when someone hurts my family or friends it is extremely hard for me to forgive. It’s one of my biggest downfalls and I am trying to be better because I have felt it tear me from the inside out. I’ve felt the wall grow around my heart. I’ve felt the coldness grow and the empathy dissipate. I’ve felt it steal my joy and my happiness—and I don’t want to feel that anymore. I can understand how it can be so hard to forgive another human because I have been harvesting anger towards God for 12 months now and that doesn’t even make sense! For 12 months I have felt my anger flourish and Satan thrive in my pain, and I’m not going to let it have that control over me anymore. My anger at God may have not been justified, or the same as what you feel, but it was real for me. It felt easier for me to be mad at God for taking my Mom and for all the painful things that followed then to let it go and give the pain to God. The thing is, it actually wasn’t easier for me and it not only has hurt me—but my bitterness and anger has also hurt my family and that’s not fair to anyone. The anger would come and go but it was there. Festering and waiting for any chance to seep into other aspects of my life and steal my happiness. It feels true that forgiveness is healing because I have felt a literal weight come off my shoulders. I will still be angry sometimes I’m sure, and I will most definitely have days where I struggle but it is a step in the right direction.
I understand it’s hard to forgive especially when the anger feels justified, but we don’t want our mistakes to define us so how can we define someone else by theirs. We simply cannot be angry and heal, it’s just not possible.
There’s a reason God says to forgive, because harvesting anger only turns to bitterness and hate—and hate and joy don’t live in the same place.
So choose wisely.